A Test of Faith

27 days.

Long, stressful days that pushed my mental and emotional limits to their ends. Beyond actually.

It has now been almost three weeks since all of that ended.

So... why do I still find myself having horrible mood swings? One little things sets me off. I don't turn violent. Just angry and easily annoyed. My poor children take the brunt with being yelled at for breathing and such. I know I shouldn't be doing it, but I can't seem to stop it.

Then, as quickly as it comes it leaves.

I wasn't like this before everything happened. At least not to this extent.

I know that I can do better.

I am trying to do better.

I hope this is simply a test of my faith.

And... if it is...

I hope I can pass.

A Test of Faith - Part II

It has been a faith testing two weeks since my last post. I guess it could be looked at as whining or complaining (which mean you simply know me much too well). But to me, as I reflect back over that time, I can see that our family was experiencing a test of faith.

Our family had been enjoying a great run of health. Everyone was relatively healthy and we (my wife and I) were thankful. Then it hit. My 1 year came down with pinkeye. No biggie. We had drops and got him started. Two days later, I get it. From there it spread to my 6 year old,then my 4 year old. My little four year old has had it really bad. So on top of pinkeye, I was blessed to spend last Sunday (two Sundays ago) with the 24 hour flu. It was horrible. Now my 1 year old has a fine rash all over his body, and my 4 year old, on top of the pinkeye, has a horrendous cough and is irritable.

Now, again, this can be viewed as simple whining, but I truly believe that it was a test for our family. I struggle with patience anyways, but add to that sickness in the family and it get very trying. I is a test in finances (we had to visit the clinic 3 times), faith (the belief that we will be healed), and spirit- can I keep it together and emerge from this test with my head held high.

I know that we are tested by the Lord to keep us humble and mindful of the commandment and covenants that we have made. I know that our family will be stronger because of it.

Tonight for FHE we talked about testimonies. It was such a neat experience to talk to my eight year-old about a testimony. He loves to share his every fast Sunday. Tonight we talked about what one is and how to get one. He asked a lot of questions about how he can find out for him self. I hope that he will follow through on that thought and really seek, ponder, and then pray to find out for himself. He was the one reading the scriptures for the lesson, and so he really got to see and hear the words of Moroni. (Moroni 10:3-5).

I know that we are a blessed people and I thank the Lord for the trials he sends. Not because they are easy (I have anxiety- nothing is easy), but because of how much I am allowed to grow.

Keep the Faith...

Faith and Zion

Today's lessons at church were very uplifting and thought-provoking to me. The first lesson that I had was in Gospel Essentials. The lesson was all about Faith. The discussion started with what IS faith. My comment was along the lines that faith can take on many facets. Faith can be related to works, it is the belief in something that can't be seen. The discussion progressed from there. We discussed the analogy in Alma of planting the seed, experimenting upon the word. It reaffirmed my beliefs and helped me have a chance to ponder on life.

From there I went to my next meeting and was impressed with the discussion on Zion. What is Zion? What does it take to have Zion?

The short of it is that Zion isn't just a place. It's much more than that. It is people and a place. I have to come to think of Zion as more of a thing. To have Zion, three things must be present. 1) Holiness 2) Caring of the Poor and Needy, and 3) Unity. The point that was made is that many people are waiting for Zion to come (to them), when in reality Zion COMES when these things take place. So, those who are waiting for Zion to come will be waiting for ever if they don't start working to create it.

So, when it comes to faith, use it or lose it, and work towards Zion, don't wait for it to come to you.

Keep the Faith...

A Test of Faith

I have to admit that the Lord knows how to test our faith. I don't think he decides one day to say, "Hey, I bet so-and-so could use a great test of faith today!" I think it is more He allows things to happen that will test and build our faith. Now, you might ask where this intro is leading. Actually it is quite simple. A week ago I learned that we got a new Bishopric. In that transition in our ward, I experienced a few causalities in my Quorum. For those of you who don't know, I am the E.Q. President in my ward. I lost my second counselor to the new bishop, and a couple elders to the High Priests. It was at this point I thought that I was done. I wanted to be released and almost called and requested it. But after having time to think about it for while, and talking with my remaining counselor (by the way, I don't think that I mentioned that this is the second time my 2nd counselor has been "taken" from me!) I know that I need to forge ahead. I haven't lost my testimony of the church, etc., etc. AND it isn't because I am not the Bishop (because I promise you that I NEVER EVER EVER EVER want to be one) I just feel like every time I get things rolling in my quorum, I get the "Test of Faith" test. It is SO frustrating. But, as you can see, I didn't die, life is moving forward, and I will get over it. I will stop here because I don't know where this test of faith will take me or how it will end, but I will keep you posted.

I need to sign off here and get working on my agenda and other "stuff" for Sunday. Sorry it has been FOREVER since I last posted. Many things have happened, and I just simply don't have the time I can spend blogging about it all.

Keep the Faith...