I guess that I am a little down lately because I keep having these strong feelings that I really want to be released from my current calling. I don't feel like I am making any progress in this calling. It is a chore just to get the teachers to teach. A challenge to motivate members of my quorum (ok, more like impossible), and spiritually draining to pull people along. Yet we are told and taught that we are to do the best we can in the assignments we are given, having faith that we will be receive the means to succeed.
This is where I become torn.
I have longed, thought, and struggled over the decision of calling and asking for a release. But at the same time, I don't have the desire to admit defeat (partly from my perfectionist personality) and mostly because of what I have been taught.
Tonight is a elder's social that was my idea, yet I have very little desire to even attend. I guess after being in this position for just over 3 years and having done over 15 socials/events, I am a little burned out on this whole experience.
I guess we will see where this all leads to.