Rope's End

I guess that I am a little down lately because I keep having these strong feelings that I really want to be released from my current calling. I don't feel like I am making any progress in this calling. It is a chore just to get the teachers to teach. A challenge to motivate members of my quorum (ok, more like impossible), and spiritually draining to pull people along. Yet we are told and taught that we are to do the best we can in the assignments we are given, having faith that we will be receive the means to succeed.

This is where I become torn.

I have longed, thought, and struggled over the decision of calling and asking for a release. But at the same time, I don't have the desire to admit defeat (partly from my perfectionist personality) and mostly because of what I have been taught.

Tonight is a elder's social that was my idea, yet I have very little desire to even attend. I guess after being in this position for just over 3 years and having done over 15 socials/events, I am a little burned out on this whole experience.

I guess we will see where this all leads to.

1 comment:

Sharr said...

okay, so i guess i needed to read your blog today, because this is my big issue right now... i have a calling right now (that i have had before in another ward and LOVED) and it is just kicking my trash. i can not seem to fulfill it. every time i think i've got a handle on things, i'm knocked right off my little step back to square one. and it's starting to affect my attitude about the whole thing-even to the point where i'm not really wanting to go to relief society--which is a sad sad thing, because i LOVE relief society, but i just am starting to have some "feelings" with the people i'm supposed to be working with because they are making it impossible for me to do my calling.

so here's a question--do i ask to be released, or do i continue my beatings as best i can?

it's so frustrating. i keep thinking that they're going to just fire me one day... but it's just not happening lol... i am starting to wonder if i'm the innocent bystander getting beat down to allow someone else a growing opportunity... which i don't think i like lol...

let me know when you've got it all figured out lol :o)

lots of love your way :o)

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